Oftentimes, we do not notice that it is solely us who desire the change. We want to grow up fast but regret that we did not fully live our youthful days. We want to graduate from school so we could work and earn money but regret and wish if we can just stay at school forever. We want to have boyfriend even if we're still not on the right age but regret because we got lower grades when we started dating that boy. We want to get married before we turn 23 but regret because we still cannot sleep without knowing that our parents are just on the other room.
We simply do not really know what we want which proves that we are not the best caretakers of our lives. Someone greater must exist because if we will depend our lives in our own hands, it will turn out to be miserable. Our plans which we thought are the best there is, turn out to be the main thing that will destroy our lives. That's why we need someone who is higher than us, someone who is not like us.
We need Jesus, our God. We need Him to redirect our paths whenever we missed a turn. We need Him to tell us which way to go. We need Him to remind us that we are not perfect and that it is okay because He is not requiring us to be. This is the main reason why we need Him -- because we are not perfect enough to be the controller of our own lives.
Jesus is the only Truth, the Way and the Life. Without Him, our lives are nothing but a mess. I am not telling these things without a proof. My changed life is an evidence that we are nothing without Jesus. I am a wretch, lost girl until Jesus came and rescued me. His grace absolutely changes everything. He can turn a heart of stone into a heart of flesh. I have nothing to offer but He loved me. He just wants my heart to be fully surrendered to Him. For a God like Him to ask for my heart that is broken, torn apart and barely functioning leaves me dumbfound. He wishes for my heart even if it is in its ugliest form. A God like Him should be given the most beautiful things the world can offer but He is asking for my ugly, poor heart. That's when I decided that I'm gonna follow Him no matter what's the cost.
Today, I had a lot of changes that are painful but are necessary. Changes that I never thought will happen. But I hold on to the fact that God has a purpose why things need to be put out of my life, why people have to leave and why some things are really never gonna work out. I am stoked to see why things happen this way. I await for the revelation of God in this season because I know nothing but He is faithful and a promise keeper.
xx,
Maica
