I want You to know something

Hello.

It's been a while since I personally, sincerely talked with You. I know. These past few weeks are tough and I just found myself neglecting, missing and ditching our "date talk" every night. I'm sorry. I'm writing this down so that I have something to read when I look back all the things that happened to my life, and I want You to be a part of it. Not just a PART of it, but I want You to be in EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of it. I am not perfect. I know. I fall. I stumble. I trip. I mess up. But before this leads me to tears, I want You to know something...

I want You to know that I am grateful. I am grateful because You entrusted me with this kind of life. I'm sure this is not an easy life but it sure is a worth living one. I want You to know that I appreciate every single gift that You have given to me. I know there are times that I'm too blind to see it but believe me, I was never too numb to feel it. I want You to know that I will never ever ever have my life in any other way. You have given me trials, waves, storms, circumstances and problems which You believe I can overcome. And see, I made it. We made it. I want You to know that I adore You. I praise You. I worship You. No one else deserves all of these but You. Cliche as it may sound but allow me to say this, "I am not who I am right now if it wasn't for You". You searched for me in the darkness and brought me to light. You looked for me when I was constantly hiding and You never get tired. You waited for me to come and seek You and no matter how many times I cursed, betrayed, denied and ignored You, You still loved me the same and it never changed. How did you do that?

You know the number of strands of my hair. The breath that I take. The tears that I shed. The laughs and smiles that I make. The movies that made me cry and those that made me roll on the bed while laughing. The songs that I like and the songs that I hate. The places that I want to visit and the places that I never want to remember. The million things about me which no one else deeply know. You know all of those things. The good and the bad side of me. You are the only one who can see the depths of my heart and yet You love me the same. How did you do that?

    This is what Your love for me is.

So, thank You. Thank You for giving me the love which I thought I don't deserve. Thank You because You overlooked my scars, my mistakes, my faults and my sins. Thank You because You chose to look at me beyond my shortcomings and You see me with the eyes that no one has ever looked at me before. Thank You because in You I find my completeness. I know that there will be times when I will stumble and fall but I am glad that there is someone like You who will pick me up and pick me up and pick me up. 

I cannot promise You that I will love You as much as You love me because I can never do that and no one else can. But please allow me to love You with all my might and with all my strength. Allow me to love You by loving others. By others, I mean, even those people who are unlovable. Those who are hard to love. Those whom I struggle to love. But with Your help, I know I can do it. I will be able to love them. I will be able to love even the most unlovable person in this world. I think that is the best way to show that I love You. 

I'm sorry.
Thank You.

I love You.

xx
Maica