Cold Summer Nights

I knew it. Days like these will come. Nights of longing for something or for someone. The sudden sadness inside. Nostalgia. Small lump in the throat as I create moments with that someone. Yes, I have picture all these with him. Dreams I have for us. The late night conversations I want us to have. The places I would want to go with him. Gazillion pictures of weird moments with our weird faces. The road trips we will take and the songs that we will sing as we pretend to be some famous rock star. Sadly, he neither have a face nor a name right now. But sooner or later, I know he will come. He's coming and that is certain. 

I am not sad. I am not sad because I am single. Trust me, I never thought that being single can be this good. I mean, I get to take care of myself. I get to figure things out all by myself. I learned and tried things by myself. I've never loved myself more than I do now. I think we all need to spend some time with ourselves for us to know more about us. What we truly like and what we want to become. I love spending time with myself. Before, I find it weird when I see a person eating in a restaurant or strolling in the mall alone. Now, I've become that person. I thought for a second that they must be really sad or what, but I was totally wrong. Being alone in a crowded place is not a sad thing. It is actually a nice feeling. I think these people are brave. 

Most of my friends would say to me that being single seems to be so easy for me. They rarely hear me talk about how ridiculous being single is or even complain why I have no boyfriend. I always respond with the same answer every time I am asked why having no boyfriend is not a big deal for me. I am preserving myself for that special someone so when the time comes when God already allowed us to meet, he will find me secure and ready. He will no longer have to fix me because I am already complete. I think that's the main reason why some singles are lonely and desperate to be with someone. They do not see the beauty of being a single. I believe that instead of spending our time nagging about how alone we feel we are or how miserable we are because we don't have that special someone, we should spend time fixing ourselves and loving ourselves as well. Yes, waiting can be really hard. But we should always remember, "A man that will lead you to God not to sin, is always worth the wait."

I am not a love guru to tackle everything I have learned about love but I guess, I have learned what I need to learn. Right now, I am still fixing myself and praying for that special someone as well. I hope he's okay. I hope he's always safe and that he's happy. I hope he has a relationship with God and he will share to me about it as I share mine too. I hope he's doing his purpose in life. And I hope he's praying for me too. I plan not to commit to any relationship right now that is temporary. Why? Because I am sure that my future husband wouldn't want me to waste my time with all the wrong guys as sure as I don't want to see him wasting his time with the wrong girls. I will wait for him until he claims me to God.

(c) Tumblr

One day, I don't know if I will let him read this but definitely he will. I just want to say that, I waited for you and I prayed for you. I hope we're happy. ♥

“And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, ‘Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you’.”

—	Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

xx,
Maica