Reality bites

Summer's officially over. Well, the heavy rain, the start of classes and graduates are starting to work are just some of the few proofs. And one day, I found myself missing school. Like, "What the hell? Is this for real? I am now labeled as unemployed. Nooooooooo :((" But yes, I need to move on and I have to face the new chapter and season of my life. 

Some of my batch mates started working one month after our graduation and I was like, seriously? You already! Ha ha ha. Hello, batchmates. *insert peace sign here* But nah, seriously. When I graduated, my Mom asked me when do I plan to work and I told her that I might take a few months to rest then find out where I'll get from there. BUT I don't want to work yet. Not that early. Not this early. I am glad that my parents aren't pressuring me to work as soon as I can and I love how they tolerate my "bum-ness". Ha ha ha. Honestly, whenever I receive phone calls from various companies and I tell it to them, they're like, "Wag mo muna puntahan. Wag ka magmadali. Pahinga ka muna." Yes, I have the best parents. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. But I think they're like that because:

 1. When I start working, I cannot have absences as long as I want. I cannot go straight to my boss and tell him, "Hey. I'm gonna be absent because my parents want to go out with me or my bed misses me and we're going to bond for a day." My boss might just kick me out of his office. Ha ha. Unlike in school where they have allowed maximum absences for a semester. I might lose my job early when I do that. Lol. 

2. My time will be divided because work requires me to be in the office 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Not to mention, I guess my mom will have separation anxiety (Ha ha ha!!) when I start working because we almost spend every day with each other. Mom, I'm gonna have to neglect our food trip dates and endless chikahan. Sorry.

3. It will be the start of me being a grown up. I am not Mommy and Daddy's little girl anymore. I don't know but I just have that feeling that I am required to be more responsible, more independent, more sociable and a lot more. Now, I don't have a teacher/professor whom I can ask when I am in great confusion. I only have myself to figure things out. Experience is now my teacher. Omg, Maica.


As I open the first page of this new chapter, I looked back on how my college life had been and I will always miss it. I will always want to go back from those times when we feel like we are careless kids running around because we are having too much fun to care for the world.

But I guess, this is it. This is life. This is the real world. I will not be labeled as unemployed this coming Monday. Hence, I am now a working girl. I am nervous. That's a fact. But I know, I am not doing it just by myself. My Lord is guiding me and will bless me with all the things that I will be needing. I am confident about it. I just have to trust in His plans and know that His plans are the greatest. Whatever job He has put me at the present, I know that He has reasons and I'm just on my way to find out what that is. 

xx,
Maica

Cold Summer Nights

I knew it. Days like these will come. Nights of longing for something or for someone. The sudden sadness inside. Nostalgia. Small lump in the throat as I create moments with that someone. Yes, I have picture all these with him. Dreams I have for us. The late night conversations I want us to have. The places I would want to go with him. Gazillion pictures of weird moments with our weird faces. The road trips we will take and the songs that we will sing as we pretend to be some famous rock star. Sadly, he neither have a face nor a name right now. But sooner or later, I know he will come. He's coming and that is certain. 

I am not sad. I am not sad because I am single. Trust me, I never thought that being single can be this good. I mean, I get to take care of myself. I get to figure things out all by myself. I learned and tried things by myself. I've never loved myself more than I do now. I think we all need to spend some time with ourselves for us to know more about us. What we truly like and what we want to become. I love spending time with myself. Before, I find it weird when I see a person eating in a restaurant or strolling in the mall alone. Now, I've become that person. I thought for a second that they must be really sad or what, but I was totally wrong. Being alone in a crowded place is not a sad thing. It is actually a nice feeling. I think these people are brave. 

Most of my friends would say to me that being single seems to be so easy for me. They rarely hear me talk about how ridiculous being single is or even complain why I have no boyfriend. I always respond with the same answer every time I am asked why having no boyfriend is not a big deal for me. I am preserving myself for that special someone so when the time comes when God already allowed us to meet, he will find me secure and ready. He will no longer have to fix me because I am already complete. I think that's the main reason why some singles are lonely and desperate to be with someone. They do not see the beauty of being a single. I believe that instead of spending our time nagging about how alone we feel we are or how miserable we are because we don't have that special someone, we should spend time fixing ourselves and loving ourselves as well. Yes, waiting can be really hard. But we should always remember, "A man that will lead you to God not to sin, is always worth the wait."

I am not a love guru to tackle everything I have learned about love but I guess, I have learned what I need to learn. Right now, I am still fixing myself and praying for that special someone as well. I hope he's okay. I hope he's always safe and that he's happy. I hope he has a relationship with God and he will share to me about it as I share mine too. I hope he's doing his purpose in life. And I hope he's praying for me too. I plan not to commit to any relationship right now that is temporary. Why? Because I am sure that my future husband wouldn't want me to waste my time with all the wrong guys as sure as I don't want to see him wasting his time with the wrong girls. I will wait for him until he claims me to God.

(c) Tumblr

One day, I don't know if I will let him read this but definitely he will. I just want to say that, I waited for you and I prayed for you. I hope we're happy. ♥

“And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, ‘Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you’.”

—	Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

xx,
Maica

Le Boracay 2013

Because summer is my favorite time of the year next to Christmas, I want to share how I spent my #summer2013. Well, I actually started my summer this year by going to our usual Ilocos trip. Since my Dad resides in Ilocos, it is a pre-requisite to go there every year. But who wouldn't love Ilocos, right? I am just so blessed to have Ilocos as my province because of its wonders and amazing tourist attraction. Okay. I would not spend my time talking about Ilocos because that is not the highlight of my summer. Ha ha ha.

I know it's obvious in the title of this entry that what I'm talking about is BORACAY. It isn't my first time to go there but what made it special is that this time I am with my whole family. And with some friends.. Hooray! I am excited to share how my summer 2013 has been. So here it goes..

We actually have a bad flight schedule because we have it re-booked. So we left Manila at 7:10pm and we left Boracay at 10:30pm. I know, it was such a pain waiting in the airport for hours. But PAL has an amazing crew and we were never delayed. Yay to that!

Credits to Gela for the pic ♥

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When we arrived in our hotel, my two friends, Gela and Kate, surprised me with a birthday cake. I swear. I didn't know that they were in Boracay. You can see in the picture how shocked and surprised I was. I can say that I am friends with very good actresses. Lol. I didn't even notice or feel that they are coming up with a surprise for my birthday. You guys are the best!!! They say true friends are hard to find, well I am glad that I didn't spend forever searching for them. I love you guys to bits!! *insert kiss emoji here*

My yummy chocolate cake from Quency's

Wanna know how we spent Day 1? These picture says it all.

Started our day 1 by jumping straight to the beach and back to the pool. I can live my whole life right next to the beach. It feels good waking up with the sight of the beach and smell of the seawater. It's therapeutic for me ( as if I am a sick woman). Ha ha ha. After that, we tried some activities. Since I already tried the para-sailing,  I didn't bother to join my family and tried Flyfish instead with my friends. Oh. My. Gosh. That was an epic experience. I never held something so tight in my life. We have no seat belts or anything, just the life vest and the 10 inches rope where we are supposed to hold as tight as we can so we would not be dumped in the sea. For a second, I thought of intentionally losing my grip but I would miss the fun. So there, Flyfish left me with a bruised and wounded lips. Not to mention, the intense body pain the next day. I am not scaring you guys, it was fun though. I think it should be included in every person's bucket list. Ha ha ha.

Beach Hut Bar

 Because we got curious and was fascinated by that tall tumbler, we ordered cocktail drinks which I forgot the name but tastes like Mango and Strawberry. Hee hee.

Not tipsy. Just vain.

We had our buffet dinner at Astoria. It was a fine and scrumptious one. Especially their red velvet cupcakes. My parents were tired because of the activities that afternoon so we decided to go out with my friends instead. Spent the night at Tides with a very quiet ambiance but definitely relaxing. Jumped to Club Paraw after for some real night party and it was amazing. This will be one of my favorite nights with friends. It is official, Clarity is my fave song at the moment. Ha ha ha.

Curious about Day 2? Here it goes.....

Daddy's craving for seafood and the best place to run to is D*Talipapa. It was a lunch overloaded by seafood in all its kind. Thumbs up! Head straight to another activity which is Atv. At first, I doubted because I don't even know how to drive a car or even a motorcycle but thanks for the guy who oriented us. Climbed up to the top of the mountain riding an atv to see the whole Boracay Island. A heavenly and breathtaking view captured us right before our bare eyes. God's creation are really wonderful and magical. It was amazing and awesome and everything that is synonymous with beautiful. 

Here is the view of the island of Boracay when you are in Mt. Luho.

We spent the whole night of day 2 at Epic Bar because there was an event and we saw some artist and PBA players. Okay fine, I looked like a midget standing next to those PBA players. Always like that. Always. Anyway, transferred to Guilly's Island after and lie on the beach and gazed at the stars. Actually, it was one of my bucket list -- to stargaze while lying on the beach and the seawater are rushing to kiss my feet. Another check mark to my gazillion bucket list!!! Yipee! We ended our night, my siblings and I, by grabbing Jonah's famous fruit shake and pizza. Perfect combo. A must try. :)

And the last day.... Day 3....

Spent the last few hours buying pasalubong and delicacies at D*mall. Of course, the brojas and butterscotch will never be out on the list for pasalubong. Just yummyyyyy. Before leaving, we had our Swedish body massage at Victor Ortega's Salon and Spa. Talk about the relief after that relaxing massage. 

The last picture I took before leaving the beautiful paradise of Boracay. 'Til we meet again! ♥

What made our trip more precious is that we were able to spend some quality time as a family. My dad and Kuya don't live with us in Manila because they are managing our business in the province. So whenever we get the chance to escape from the busy life in the city, we make sure we enjoy it to the fullest. This what makes our trip amazing. The shared laughter and the random stories and jokes that we had and the realization that there is no better place than to be in the arms of your family. Thank you God for making this another trip possible and for the hundred trips that we will soon have. ♥

xx,

Maica

Graduation Day!

March 22, 2013

I have never been this nervous, excited, sad, happy and fulfilled all at the same time. The emotions inside of me are battling and I don't know what is the dominant feeling. All I know is I am blessed. This day marks the end and the beginning of another chapter in my life. I am nervous because I might trip while walking with my 5 inches heels. Nah, I'm kidding. I'm excited because I can't wait to give my diploma to my parents right after my graduation. I am sad because I know I will be facing everyday not seeing the faces of my weird and crazy friends. I am happy because I can now say that amidst of all the failures that I went through, I have come up with something wonderful. I am fulfilled because this day is so surreal and I cannot ask for anything more. 

So yes, I think I'm gonna make kwento about how my day was. I woke up as early as expected but I spent 2 hours lying on my bed and looking at the ceiling thinking of nothing until my mom asked me to go and take a bath and have myself fixed by the make up artist. I don't know the name of my make up artist but he is from Jesi Mendez Salon. They really did a good job and I liked how simple yet lifting my make up was. 

Tadaaaaaaa!

Obviously, I'm wearing a red dress from Mags and 5 inches black pumps from Aldo. 

It's so ironic that the Mr. Sun is bright and up that morning but when we are about to leave our house, it suddenly rained real hard. AS IN. God is just so good that my Dad decided the day before to transfer our car in the basement. (It is usually parked in the 3rd floor and it has no roof) Moving on, we arrived in PICC Plenary Hall safe and dry. God is really good, no? The program was smooth and we finished the whole program before the expected time. I was a bit emotional when our Magna Cum Laude had her speech. She told us her story as a striving scholar. I would just like to share to you what I've learned in her life story. Everyday that we wake up with complete body parts, a healthy and sound mind, a food to eat, with money in our pocket and a roof above our head - it is enough for us to realize that we have a lot of things to be thankful for. Someone out there is struggling more than we do. 

The part where we have to sing our graduation song and the college hymn was really emotional for all of us. This is it. We are now graduates of Batch 2013! We are now OFFICIALLY UNEMPLOYED! Ha ha ha.

 

I want to share to you some of my pics with friends and family. Weeeee!

  

We had our dinner at Mr. Rockefeller and desserts in Bubba Gump. Tummy is happy again! Good food, good company, good laughs = good life. I love how my family has a big heart for food. I love how I love the things that we do. Lord, thank you for the set of parents and siblings that You have given to me! Sobra sobra na! Hee hee hee.

 Oysters overload

 Buffalo Wings

 Fish fillet topped with cheese

 Rib steak

 Bubba Gump

 Chocolate Chip Cookies

  Alabama Mud Pie

 

 My college years are filled with memories that I will surely remember for the rest of my life. I have my ups and downs but honestly, no regrets. I will never have it in any other way. I am glad for the people that I met even if some left and I am thankful for those who stayed. 


Lord, maraming salamat po.


xx,
Maica

Happy birthday, Mommy!

03/10/13

To the woman who made my existence possible even if she had to go through the most painful experience that she will ever feel, to the friend who always listens to my rants about how hard this life is to me, to the sister who patiently accompanies me when I want to go shopping (which means raiding all the stores in the mall and 20% chance of finding a good stuff and this is seriously tiring) and to the mother who dedicated all her life taking care of us and making sure that we're all doing fine, a happy birthday to you. 

She is probably the most beautiful woman I've ever known and will ever know. She is a superwoman, our superhero. I often wonder how she does the thing that she does. Maybe if I were her, I will totally break down. Hah! Though there were times when I can't understand her on some matters, she never fails to amaze me. I am so grateful to God and even words cannot profoundly explain how grateful I am. She has been at my side for 19 years now and there are times when I realize how hard it is to have me as a daughter. I constantly rant about things. I easily lose my mood. I can be a little selfish and rude at times. But.. but.. but.. I never heard her say that she was tired of me. That she was tired of us. I guess, that's the very exact thing that I like about her. I know she gets tired of us at times but she never told it to us or even made us feel that she's tired already. I think that's the hardest part of being a mother. You just gotta take it all in. You have to give and give and give and give. There is no backing down. There is no resignation. I am proud to say that even if there is a resignation form in being a mother, my mom will never ever do it and I am confident about it. 

Mommy, thank you for being God's living proof that even if this life gets a little bit harsh, there are still good things to be happy about. That is you. You brighten up my bad days and you made me see things in different ways. Thank you for the life lesson and thank you for letting me learn in my own mistake. For I know that even if I fall, you will pick me up no matter how dirty I may be.

 

Happy birthday, Mommy! May God bless you with a life full of joy and happiness. You deserve it. You deserve all the good things in this world. I love you so much.

xx

Your Daughter, Maica

I want You to know something

Hello.

It's been a while since I personally, sincerely talked with You. I know. These past few weeks are tough and I just found myself neglecting, missing and ditching our "date talk" every night. I'm sorry. I'm writing this down so that I have something to read when I look back all the things that happened to my life, and I want You to be a part of it. Not just a PART of it, but I want You to be in EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of it. I am not perfect. I know. I fall. I stumble. I trip. I mess up. But before this leads me to tears, I want You to know something...

I want You to know that I am grateful. I am grateful because You entrusted me with this kind of life. I'm sure this is not an easy life but it sure is a worth living one. I want You to know that I appreciate every single gift that You have given to me. I know there are times that I'm too blind to see it but believe me, I was never too numb to feel it. I want You to know that I will never ever ever have my life in any other way. You have given me trials, waves, storms, circumstances and problems which You believe I can overcome. And see, I made it. We made it. I want You to know that I adore You. I praise You. I worship You. No one else deserves all of these but You. Cliche as it may sound but allow me to say this, "I am not who I am right now if it wasn't for You". You searched for me in the darkness and brought me to light. You looked for me when I was constantly hiding and You never get tired. You waited for me to come and seek You and no matter how many times I cursed, betrayed, denied and ignored You, You still loved me the same and it never changed. How did you do that?

You know the number of strands of my hair. The breath that I take. The tears that I shed. The laughs and smiles that I make. The movies that made me cry and those that made me roll on the bed while laughing. The songs that I like and the songs that I hate. The places that I want to visit and the places that I never want to remember. The million things about me which no one else deeply know. You know all of those things. The good and the bad side of me. You are the only one who can see the depths of my heart and yet You love me the same. How did you do that?

    This is what Your love for me is.

So, thank You. Thank You for giving me the love which I thought I don't deserve. Thank You because You overlooked my scars, my mistakes, my faults and my sins. Thank You because You chose to look at me beyond my shortcomings and You see me with the eyes that no one has ever looked at me before. Thank You because in You I find my completeness. I know that there will be times when I will stumble and fall but I am glad that there is someone like You who will pick me up and pick me up and pick me up. 

I cannot promise You that I will love You as much as You love me because I can never do that and no one else can. But please allow me to love You with all my might and with all my strength. Allow me to love You by loving others. By others, I mean, even those people who are unlovable. Those who are hard to love. Those whom I struggle to love. But with Your help, I know I can do it. I will be able to love them. I will be able to love even the most unlovable person in this world. I think that is the best way to show that I love You. 

I'm sorry.
Thank You.

I love You.

xx
Maica

I go to seek a great perhaps

Hello there! This is not my first time to write in a blog but it surely is my first time to write in a blog which is publicized. By this, I mean that I had my first blog months ago (which I intend to keep to myself and not tell it to anyone), but then because school works interfere and come in the way, I forgot to update it and check it regularly which leads me to forgetting the password as well. Anyway, enough of the explaining..

Maybe, a lot of you if not all, are wondering the meaning behind my blog title "I GO TO SEEK A GREAT PERHAPS". Well, not to mention that I got it from John Green's Looking For Alaska which is my favorite book next to Fault in Our Stars (I am a die hard John Green fan).

Upon reading the book, I come across with this line which is originally written by Francois Rabelais and I wonder what does this mean. So I asked my best friend (Google), and read as many comments as I can about this line. I think this one has the best explanation, "It means they are going to try to find something much better than what they now have, and hope they will find it but are uncertain that it will come to pass". This explains it all. Who knows that these seven words can sum up how I want my life to be lived? I want to go to seek a great perhaps. I want to know what the world really looks like out there. I want to see the beauty of every creatures. I want to be moved and be amazed by this world. I want to feel the heaven that is out there for each one of us. And I will make it happen...

This blog is my life in a page. This will entail everything about me that I want everyone to know. I want to share with you the life that I have through writing down my feelings, my thoughts, my doubts, my fears and most of all, my journey. I hope that I will not abandon this blog as what I did on the previous one (due of lack of time) and I hope that you will be inspired by this blog. I will and should try to keep you posted as often as I can. Cheers for the many stories that I will write down! Cheers for this life! 


xx
Maica